Today is not my best day. Nor was yesterday. Or several days before that. Or really, for quite some time.
I have found myself to be in a bit of a funk (if I'm honest), for several months now. Joy has been fleeting and I am having to dig deep. My affliction? Caretaker-fatigue syndrome, with a scoop of world-weariness, a slice of mild depression, and a splash of serious writer's block. With four boys (ranging from teenager to toddler), a traveling husband, an overweight dog, a farm that won't grow anything (along with a contract farmer who just quit TODAY, thankyouverymuch), and my job as a part-time professor. . . not to mention the refugee crisis, school shootings, Internet dangers and the inability to muster the energy or motivation or dedication to put words onto a page . . . well . . , I think my self-diagnosis is right on the money.
My soul is in need of a joy-infusion. Big. Time.
And this writing life of mine needs a healthy dose of accountability.
I need a JOY FOCUS and a WRITING BOSS, and it's coming to me in the form of the #write31days challenge. By committing to write (and publish!) for each of the 31 days in October, I have promised to show up to the page, to my life, and to all the good that is present in the world for the duration of October and hopefully forever and ever. Amen.
Here's what I know. There is joy to be found in struggle. . . it's where the good stuff often resides. I also know that struggle is relative. . . I know that my "struggle" absolutely pales in comparison to those both near and far. But that doesn't discount the seriousness of a joy deficit. It can mess a woman up, I'm here to tell you.
I need to remember that there is joy to be found in both the mundane and in the sublime. Joy is present every day, everywhere, where ever I am, despite my feelings or thoughts or circumstances. I have just forgotten to how to SEE it.
It is the noticing of the small joys that gives birth to gratitude. And gratitude?
I also know that this game of mine needs CHANGING.
Hence, 31 Days of Joy Spotting. Well, 26 days, since I'm a bit late to the party. Writer's block and procrastination is a whole thing, friends.
WHATEVER. I'm doing it.
I hope that you will join me on a month long journey of joy spotting. I know beautiful moments of joy are hidden from all of us in plain sight. And maybe, through the noticing, our souls can rejoice again.