Day 9:  Delirium

The day arrived. It was time to drive our trusty house on wheels back to its home in Salt Lake City. Alas. Parting is such sweet sorrow. 

And look!  So clean!

  This is how it looked the whole time!!

Right. 😉

Before we left our final campsite, the boys enjoyed the last day of their daily morning ritual...playing house. This was a perfect space for playing house. And, it had the added bonus of indulging all of my childhood Boxcar Children fantasies. 

You can't tell me you didn't want to live in a boxcar with no parents and just your siblings, working all day to making it tidy and organized and endeavoring mightily to provide for the littler children and hiding in the woods from the well-meaning but misguided people from social services that wanted to split you up. Please tell me I'm not the only one?  Right???

Most days, this was a little kid show. But on a few instances, the bigs got in the act. This morning, they were the daddies and each had a baby. This was overheard...

"Your baby scratched me."

"Well. Your baby HIT me."

Oooh!  Boxcar children trash talk!   I don't remember that being part of the story.  😁These babies were apparently bad babies. 

We arrived in SLC and said goodbye....

  ...loaded up out van and met our driver, Floyd. 

  And, as I have mentioned before, we had A LOT of bags. 

  Now, this displeased Floyd. I'm not sure why, but it did. That, and the fact that we didn't go whitewater rafting. And apparently, we saw all of the wrong things. AND that Jason lost his wallet and we had to borrow cash from Spencer, the resident moneybags. But mostly, there was significant commentary from Floyd about stuff. Here was his parting shot:

I have a friend who is a river runner in the Grand Canyon. When she runs rafts, she goes through everyone's bags and makes two piles...a small one and a big one. When she's finished, she lights the big one on fire. When the people are mad, she says they don't need all that crap anyway. Wonder what she would have done with you people. Heh heh heh. 

He was pretty much disgusted with us. 

But, he got us to the airport in plenty of time, much to the relief of Owen and Carter, who had a great deal to say on that topic all morning. 

Are we going to miss our flight? Are you sure? When is it going to take off? Will we be there in time? How do you know? Are you sure? Where is our plane right now? Are we missing it right now?

Nope. Made it. 

Our twins. They're just ten years apart. 

We had a connection in Denver and then flew straight into the loving arms of Intrepid Aunt Jill. But first, everyone got delirious. 

Carter thought it was funny to turn the tables on me, the resident Pett family photojournalist. Here, I'm trying to retrieve my phone while comforting Landon, who just accidentally slammed his head down on the table. See??  DELIRIOUS.

Do you see the veins popping out of my neck?

Delirious Comments from the Delirious, Travel-Weary Pett Family  

Carter:  I just felt throw up come out of my nose. 

Huh? and Ewwww. 

Landon: My heart's breaking. I MUST take a nap. AND I need to find my pack-pack. 

  Carter: It's like I'm marrying you. I want to marry you, but I can't. AND you have a soft shirt. So I am definitely sitting with you. 

Spencer: Mom. Can I have some of your gluten free water? *wink*

Carter:  Have I gotten hit by a car once or zero times? 

Me: Uhh, zero. 

Landon: Did you forget? 

Me:  Forget what?

Landon:  SOMETHING!!

Carter: Why exactly is jail bad? 

I explain. He bursts into tears. 

That's so mean! Why do police officers do that? I want all of them to go to jail.

I explain further. 

MOM. Do you think I will go to jail one day? No?????  Well. You don't know for sure.

 Watch out, Carter. He might be coming for YOU. 

Spencer. Ok. We're going to play the quiet game. 


  Landon: Elmo? You want to go on the plane? Yes?  Hooray!! 

Me:  The circus has boarded. 

Flight Attendant:  Naw girl, you all are mild!

Me:  (to myself): You mean wild?

 Landon: I really need to take a little rest. Where is our house? When will we get to our house? I NEED our house. 

We are clearly delirious. 

Official Candy of the Hit the Road With the Windows Down U.S. Tour

 Twizzlers. I'm sure I've consumed at least a round trip. Landon calls them swizzlers. So now?  So do we. 

Finally, we arrived. 

  We were met by Intrepid Aunt Jill (IAJ) at the airport. We will all get clean. We will sleep apart. It will be strange and terrible and fabulous and all things in between to return to life outside of our living room on wheels. Our motorized stagecoach.  Sigh. Goodbye, RV. It's been all kinds of wonderful.

✋✋✋✋✋  WAIT!!!  

I would be remiss not to include the...


We smelled serious skunk on the drive to Jill's house. Immediately after the first whiff, we saw a small black animal running across the road. 

All the Pett's:  SKUNK!!!! 

IAJ: Nope.  That's John the Cat named Charlie. Don't ask. 

So, Intrepid Aunt Jill has been renamed Weird Intrepid Aunt Jill.  😉

Until tomorrow.....